I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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