sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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