Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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