Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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