Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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