Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
