I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Randomize
