I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
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