Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
