I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
