Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
