im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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