Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
