my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
