you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I think my nap took me to another dimension
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
