You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
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