She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
