I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
