I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
