matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
