I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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