my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
