puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
