You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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