Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
