you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
