..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
