Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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