Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
