I am puke
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
