if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
