Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
organizing the empties. That sober.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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