im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
