would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
