I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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