They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Randomize
