fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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