We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
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