I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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