This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
