Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
