Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I love black thongs
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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