u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
