I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize
