five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
