Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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