i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Randomize
