Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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