Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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