It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
